Adapting for Success

It is now 5 months since we have moved from Ottawa, Ontario to Riga, Latvia.  I have been thinking about how do you have a successful outcome after experiencing a big change like that.  I have come up with the following action items that have helped me to adapt to change:

1.  Be an open circle.  G and I often have the conversation about being an open circle.  What I mean by this is, imagine that you are part of a circle of friends.  It's great!  You have friends around you, supporting you, sharing life experiences and you never feel truly alone because of your circle.  

Now imagine that you have just moved to a new place (or started a new job or joined a new club or... insert whatever new experience you have).  All you see are closed circles of people so everything seems to be a challenge because you are going at it alone.  Now imagine how you would feel if those same people were welcoming to you, ie. an open and inviting circle.  You really get to meet the most interesting people when your circle is open and you have also had the chance to join other circles.  When I say be welcoming to others, I mean, greet them, make eye contact, disrupt your conversation in order to include the newcomer, etc.

See the little parting of the circle on the pizza?

2.  Reinvent yourself.  The great thing about finding yourself in a new situation is that you can shed things about yourself without explanation.  You can try out new approaches, wear different clothes, join different clubs.  It is really quite liberating!

3.  Try something new.  Try new groups, recipes, etc.  This one goes hand in hand with the "reinventing yourself".  I have tried so many different things in Riga.  One of the funniest was attending a cake/pasty lesson.  We spent many hours making a medus kūka (honey cake) and at the end, the cake wasn't finished (we had to pick it up at a later date).  

Finished workshop.

So the next day, inspired by this workshop, I set out to make a 10 layer honey cake.  It was really enjoyable and nothing I would have every tried before.  I can still conjure up the pride that I felt, accomplishing this delectable dessert.

Cake (in progress) that I made at home.

 4.  Don't be afraid.  Don't be afraid to try something new or, I should say, don't be so afraid that you won't try something new.  Every move I have to move twice: geographically and metaphorically.  The geographic move is from point A to point B. The metaphoric move is me breaking out of my comfort zone.  This applies to starting a new job, attending a function where I do not know a soul (except perhaps my wonderful husband!), joining a club.  I think you get the point.

About two months ago, I took G to soccer practice.  It was the first time I had attempted transit at night.  In Riga, the sun sets quite early in the Fall, so I found myself having to enter this pedestrian underpass to cross the busy road. After assessment of my physical surroundings, I knew that there was no risk to my life.  I went through the tunnel.

Guess what?  I survived, nothing happened to me! My younger self may have refused to go through that tunnel because of being afraid.  This is particularly important because moving to a country where English or French is not the norm, I have felt surprisingly vulnerable trying (and not always succeeding) at doing everyday things, such as grocery shopping.  

5. Ask for help.  I have found that I am not very good at asking for help.  I think it is actually because deep down, I feel like that I am admitting that I cannot do it myself.  This couldn't be further from the truth!  What is true is that I am human and cannot do everything at all times.  So that leads to my next point...

I have discovered Riga by walking around A LOT but only because...

I have had to ask for directions A LOT!!

6. Accept help!  Most people want to help (I know that I do).  So sometimes it's a joy to accept the help that is being offered to you and a joy to others offering the help.

7. Be Generous with 1st Impressions.  I have discovered that I don't always give the best 1st impression.  It could be because I had a bad day, I'm nervous meeting new people, I was very focussed (my face becomes scrunched up when I thinking hard), or my back and feet hurt.  Now if this happens to me, I'm sure it can happen to others.  So I am working on giving people 1st, 2nd and even 3rd "first" impressions.  I might make a great friend that I may otherwise have discounted based on a bad 1st impression.  This is particularly important when going through a big change, such as moving.  Stress doesn't always show us at our finest.

8. Eat the dessert.   Eating dessert will bring you joy because in order to get to dessert, you usually have to get through dinner.  In my opinion, taking the time to enjoy food is so wonderful for lowering your stress level. But (I know, using "but" is such a downer!) don't forget other aspects of your health.  So when you're going through change, you will feel so much better if you pay attention to your physical state (exercise every chance you get), spiritual state (spend time with God or wherever you find peace), and mental state (ask someone if you're particularly snappy to do a self-assessment as to how you're dealing with stress).

I think the description was Apple Crisp.

It didn't taste as expected.  It was better!